Please Hold My Hand
by JumpUpAndDown
Summary: Post-Chapter 50/ In which Jean and Mikasa find comfort somewhere they had never thought to look - each other.


_Titans. Titans everywhere. _

_All he could hear was screaming, people begging for their lives; chaos. Darkness, he'd lost all his comrades to the darkness._

_And then he saw Mikasa. Mikasa, right below a Titan. It was reaching for her, fingers curling around her. Time seemed to slow, and she seemed to be moving further and further from him. He was running, running alone, running so fast his feet were aching and his breaths were coming out short and strangled._

_But he wasn't fast enough._

_He was crying, Mikasa was screaming, and the Titan was opening it's mouth…_

Jean woke up with a strangled cry, chest heaving. His eyes were wet, his head felt heavy, and his whole body was screaming in pain. The light was blinding, but he kept his eyes open because he knew if he shut them, all he would see in the darkness would be his nightmares on replay.

There was someone there with him, someone with a gentle voice, calming him. The tight grip he hadn't realised he had on the bed sheets loosened, and his erratic heartbeat started to slow down.

Jean blinked a few times before he managed to take in his surroundings. He was in a bed, soft and white. The room he was in was small, and familiar. Sunlight was streaming through an open window, lighting up the room and warming it up.

"You're awake."

Jean looked over to his left, not at all surprised to see Mikasa standing there, a few feet away from him. After all, it was her voice that had calmed him down. He would recognise her voice anywhere.

"Yeah…" He managed to get out before a coughing fit racked his entire body. Mikasa was by his side with a glass of water immediately. Once he stopped coughing, Jean tried to sit up but his arms felt like lead, and almost gave in under his weight. With her free hand, Mikasa reached out to steady him. Jean could feel the warmth of her palm through the light cotton of his shirt, and the warmth seemed to spread to his own cheeks.

He accepted the glass of water, before looking away, hoping that the blush would recede.

As he drank, Mikasa took a seat on the chair near his bed. "Do you feel better?"

Jean contemplated the answer as he finished up his drink, handing the empty glass back to Mikasa when she asked for it. Tentatively, he reached up to feel his head. His fingers met the smooth texture of bandages. So that was why his head felt so heavy.

"I feel…" He struggled for a word, before settling on, "Light."

"Light?" Mikasa repeated, and Jean felt slight embarrassment at his poor choice of words.

"Yeah, like… My arms feel like they're hollow, or, something…" He trailed off at Mikasa's slightly bemused expression, cheeks burning lightly again.

After a moment of awkward silence, she stood up, and Jean was seized by a sudden terror that she was leaving him; going too far from him that he wouldn't be able to save her, like what he'd seen in his nightmare.

"Where are you going?" He couldn't keep the worry from seeping into his tone, the desperation that caused his voice to hitch at the end. It was that that made Mikasa halt in her steps, looking over at him over her shoulder.

"I'm going to the kitchen, to get you some food." She explained. "You must be hungry."

As if on cue Jean's stomach growled, but he shook his head firmly. "No, I'm not. Just…" _Don't leave me._ "Stay… here. Please?"

Mikasa frowned, but walked over to him anyway, sitting where she had previously sat. "Are you sure you're not hungry? You've been asleep for quite some time."

At her words, Jean felt his stomach drop. "How long is some time?"

"Nearly two days." She gave him a pitying look as he blanched. "Armin's been very worried. He wanted to stay with you until you woke up, but he looked very tired, so I told him I would stay with you instead."

"Thank you." Jean told her, grateful that he didn't have to wake up alone. She nodded her head slightly, acknowledging his words. They were silent again before Jean suddenly spoke up, anxiously asking, "Is Armin ok? Everyone else? Eren? Connie? …Christa? Did we manage to get her back?"

He was panicking slightly by this point, and Mikasa knew that wasn't good for his head, especially when he was likely suffering from a slight concussion, as Armin had told her. Not knowing how to calm him down, Mikasa went to her go-to method, the one she always used with Eren and Armin. She placed her hand on top of his.

Her touch seemed to calm him down slightly, but before Mikasa could take her hand away, Jean had grabbed on to it tightly. She stiffened, because Eren and Armin had never held on to her hand in return whenever she comforted them. Slightly uncomfortable, Mikasa was going to ask him to let her go, but then she saw the relief flooding his face.

At that moment, she realised that Jean wasn't Eren or Armin, and that perhaps comfort to him was holding on to someone who was warm, and alive, and there with him. It was something she herself looked for from time to time, and so she let him hang on to her, slightly pleased that she was able to offer comfort to him.

"Everyone is fine. We… We had casualties, but none of them were from our Training Squad. Reiner, Bertholdt and Ymir got away." She informed him, watching his eyes harden at his friends' names, feeling his hand stiffen in hers. "We… still haven't heard from Sasha though."

Jean's head whipped around to look at her, eyes wide. Ignoring the headache his sudden movement had caused, his grip on her hand tightened slightly. "She's not… You don't think she…"

"No." Mikasa's voice was firm. "Sasha is a good soldier. She has good instincts, and I'm certain if anyone would be able to survive out there, it would be her."

By reassuring Jean, Mikasa was also clearing out any of her own doubts. It felt nice to comfort, and be comforted in return. Bolstered by this, she looked at him.

"Jean…" He hummed a response, looking at her expectantly. Suddenly unsure, Mikasa looked down at their linked hands and gathered courage from there. "Thank you for saving me. I owe my life to you."

Mikasa jumped slightly as he placed his other hand over their joined ones. "Mikasa… I will always be there to help you." He said earnestly, gripping her hands, words punctuated by the blush in his cheeks. "You're strong, the strongest person I know. But… if you ever falter, I'll be there. I _promise_."

Beyond moved by his honesty and devotion to her, Mikasa could only nod as a lump formed in her throat. She looked down at their hands again, and placed her other one on top of his. As he squeezed her hands gently, Mikasa felt a bud of affection take root in her heart, and for once, allowed herself the chance to let it bloom.

And the seed grew with each passing moment, starting from when Eren and Armin had entered the room and Mikasa had firmly held on to one of Jean's hands, even with Eren frowning at it.

It took years, but the seed did eventually bloom into something beautiful, something pure and strong.

It bloomed into love.

I hoped you enjoyed this story, reviews are appreciated.


End file.
